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Gatekeeping is a selfish, childish, needlessly exclusionary practice that has been a recent subject in Facebook fragrance groups and elsewhere. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, answer these questions:
1. If someone asks what fragrance you're wearing, do you:
A) Tell them
B) Lie
2. What are your feelings about encountering a person who is wearing the same fragrance that you are wearing?
A) They have great taste!
B) They're encroaching on my territory!
What about if that person is wearing your fragrance because YOU recommended it to them? Still feel possessive?
I don't get that. At all.
My answer to both questions is A. If someone asks what I am wearing, I tell them. And If I run into someone who happens to be wearing the same scent that I sprayed on myself that day, I'm going to think that person has good taste. Clearly, because they like something I like--and my taste is impeccable. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I am not trendy. I'm not going to be wearing the designer top sellers, the Good Girls, Libres, Paradoxes, Donnas, and Goddesses. And probably not any niche and niche-adjacent superstars like Baccarat Rouge 540 (definitely not), Delina, or Vanilla Candy Rock Sugar. (Not that anything is wrong with any of them, they're just not my thing.) Many of my favorite scents have been discontinued, so the likelihood of my running into someone who is wearing Iris Prima, Theorema, or Odori Iris is close to nil. I'd be gobsmacked if I met someone wearing 10 Corso Como, Battito d'Ali, or Bapteme du Feu--but if I did, I'd think that person was pretty darn special.
In other words, it's totally fine for someone to wear the same scent I am wearing at the same time. I don't understand the folks who get all up in arms about it. The choice B people.
A while back, I overheard a conversation between multiple people who took umbrage over smelling what they considered their fragrance on another person. None of them were people who have a "signature scent," but perfume packrats just like me who own dozens or hundreds of bottles of different fragrances. Heaven forbid any of these greedy goblins are wearing Baccarat Rouge 540 or Santal 33 while walking through the streets of New York City. Their heads would explode at the sheer number of others wearing the same.
There are one or two circumstances in which I can understand (somewhat) the selfishness. Ok, one. The case of the Signature Scent. An example: I mentioned a former co-worker, Michele, in a past post. Her signature scent, the only perfume she ever wore, was Giorgio Red, and she smelled fabulous. We worked for a very small company, in extremely tight quarters, and she would have noticed if I adopted her fragrance for myself. But why would I? Even back then, there were hundreds of other fragrances I could choose to wear, so I did. I have always been a promiscuous perfumista, seldom wearing the same scent two days in a row. I didn't even try Red on my own skin until recently, a full 30 years later.
Another friend with whom I worked wore Clinique Happy every day, and smelled amazing. Sadly, it was like hot garbage on my skin. But even had it worked with my body chemistry, I wouldn't have worn it. Especially not to work. To be honest, I don't know how either Ms Red or Ms Happy would have reacted had I shown up at the office wearing their signature scent. I have a feeling that neither would have cared much, but I would have understood had they been upset.
Another circumstance in which it's ok to be selfish about a fragrance is....
Hmm...well, I can't come up with another example. I think that's pretty much the only time someone shouldn't wear the same fragrance as someone else: when they are in close proximity to the original wearer on a regular basis, and that's the original wearer's "signature." Otherwise, wear what you want when you want to wear it. And if someone doesn't like it, that's just too damn bad.
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Posted by theminx on Minxstinks
Note: this post is my opinion. I am not affiliated with the companies mentioned in this post or any other companies.
I have a friend who used to be also a work colleague and we both share the same passion for perfume. We used to chat about it on a daily basis and we were always honest about the “what are you wearing” topic. I think the central point that always made things work well between us at office space was ethics. She would never wear to work the fragrances that I wore first and I would do the same. She left the company about two years ago and now we love our “fragrant lunch meetings” where we always laugh when we realize we are wearing the same fragrance. Unfortunately not everyone works this way.
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