Fantasy Met Gala Fragrances

I could not get Adobe Firefly AI to understand that I wanted an image
 of an attractive woman wearing a perfume bottle, so I had to do it myself.
Random model (who appears to either have a headache or psychic powers;
perhaps her atomizer hat is heavy) wearing a Gaultier Divine by
Jean-Paul Gaultier bottle, on the stairs at the 2024 Met Gala.

Each year, New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art holds a benefit to raise money to fund their Costume Institute for the next 12 months. Attendees shell out tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege of parading up the Met's grand staircase and showing off their designer frocks, which presumably fit with the year's theme. Thanks to social media, we know who wore which fashion designer's over-the-top couture creation. But do we know what fragrances they wore? Personally, if I were wearing a borrowed garment that took 700 hours to make and costs more than some people earn in a year, I wouldn't wear any fragrance at all. Not only might the perfume oils damage delicate fabric or discolor the meticulously placed gems, sequins, crystals, or flowers, it would also leave its scent behind. It's not like one can pop any of these magnificent garments into the washer and dryer or take it to the corner dry cleaner. But let's pretend these celebs are not only dolled up in fabulous fashion, but also positively reek of fragrant joy juice, shall we?

Dua Lipa in Marc Jacobs

I love me some Dua Lipa, but I'm not feeling this dress. It's a bit too much Wild West Madame, almost trashy. I feel like she'd be wearing something loud and sweet, but still lovely: Lush Rose Jam. The notes are listed as Turkish rose, rose oil, marmalade, lemon, spicy notes, and geranium, but all I smell is rose petals and sugar. It's loud but not brash, and not at all elegant, but it smells pretty darn good.

Wisdom Kaye in Robert Wun

TikTok-famous Wisdom Kaye, whose Instagram account claims is a "director, model, stylist, photographer, videographer" says this about his custom Robert Wun outfit:

Inspired by the romance of red rose, emphasising on the romantic aspect of the colour red, and the story telling aspect of the decay in flowers. Which beautiful things are not meant to last forever. And that is part of the beauty of nature and its relevance in "Time."

Ok, whatever. Those are not sentences. And I don't see decay, I see deliberate burn marks. The rose and raggedy sleeves are perhaps too on the nose, thematically, and I prefer to imagine the red color is symbolizing fire. Burned things smell smoky, so my fragrance recommendation is Maison Trudon Revolution. With notes of Elemi resin, Angelica, Papyrus, Juniper, Cedarwood, Revolution is the smell of freshly burnt resinous woods or a fireplace in the winter. The drydown is less overtly smoky, very French, and quite delicious. I bought this recently and am champing at the bit to wear it when the weather gets cold again.

Sydney Sweeney in Miu Miu

Though this gown screams "pretty princess," the leather gloves give it a whisper of kink. Hermes Kelly Caleche EDP, (Leather, Rose, Violet, Mimosa, Iris, Vanilla, Tuberose) with its girly powdery mimosa + leather, is my pick for Ms Sweeney. 

Elle Fanning in Balmain

Clearly Miss Fanning went to the Gala dressed as a bottle of L'Air du Temps, so it seems odd that Balmain is the designer and not Harris Reed for Nina Ricci. However, that seems too easy. The shoulder birds also make me think of Lalique crystal, so perhaps the effervescent rose chypre of Perles de Lalique (Rose, Pepper, Iris, Powdery Notes, Patchouli, Oakmoss, Vetiver, Orris Root, Cashmirwood) would be a suitable choice. The texture of the dress itself, however, makes me think of rain, which makes me think of Frederic Malle's Angeliques Sous la Pluie (Angelica, Juniper, Pink Pepper, Cedar, Coriander, Musk). Three scents to choose from, Elle. An embarrassment of riches. 

Lizzo in Victor Weinsanto

Lizzo slammed critics of her dress as being "fat-phobic." As a life-long big girl myself, I appreciate her and her fat, and think she's (almost always) gorgeous. But I also think that hyper-corseted Weinsanto number would be more lovely if it didn't look so stiff and uncomfortable. I also wonder why she's wearing a fish tail on her head. I'm going to pretend, however, that the gown is romantic and flowy because I adore how that color looks on her without making her look naked. I'm going to continue the nude theme into her fragrance with Guerlain Oud Nude (Oud, Raspberry, Almond, Bourbon Vanilla, Sandalwood, Atlas Cedar, Rose). Primarily an almond/vanilla scent, the oud acts as a grounding base that cuts through the sweetness. Much like patchouli does in other fragrances. It's the only oud (so far) that I would wear personally.

Karlie Kloss in Swarovski

This one seems like a no-brainer. Karlie looks like one of the gorgeous hand-decorated bottles of Cherry Blossom that Guerlain releases each year. The dress probably weighs a ton, so I think the lighter fragrance would be apt. It's a pretty tea-floral with a bit of sweetness and a musky drydown. (Green Tea, Bergamot, Cherry Blossom, Lilac, Jasmine, White Musk) 

Maria Sharapova in Prabal Gurung

I'm in love with this look on tennis great Maria Sharapova. It's simple and elegant and hugs her curves in all the right ways, and the "tennis ball" colors are fabulous. So I'm going to give her one of my favorite fragrances, Chanel Cristalle Eau Verte (Green Notes, Citruses, Magnolia, Jasmine). It's bright, green and citrussy, but also classy and sexy. I'm going to wear the hell out of this scent this summer.

Lena Mahlouf in Schiaparelli

Some people need to look in the mirror after they get dressed. According to the google, this YouTuber is 5'6", but the excess of fabric at the bottom of her Schiaparelli gown coupled with giant metal boobflowers makes her look short and top heavy. I know--this is a perfume blog, not a fashion blog, but I still have opinions. Her metal bra/crumbcatcher requires a scent that can stand up to all that look: The Harmonist Metal Flower (Aldehydes, Rose Oxide, Orange Blossom, Rose de Mai, Bulgarian Rose, Ylang-Ylang, White Musk, Patchouli). It's kinda crazy how some well-placed aldehydes and patchouli can make roses smell, well, metallic. (The scent does go a bit more fluffy/powdery in the drydown.)

Mindy Kaling in Gaurav Gupta

Mindy's gorgeously sculptural nude gown evokes the patterns made when swirling a glug of Bourbon vanilla extract into a white cake batter with a wooden spoon. She needs to be wearing a vanilla scent--but an uncommon one that speaks of things other than cake and ice cream. Electimuss Vanilla Edesia is perfect (Frankincense, Bergamot, Heliotrope, Mandarin Orange, Pink Pepper, Cumin, Cinnamon, Coriander, Rose, Ylang Ylang, Vanilla, Sandalwood, Patchouli, Virginia Cedar, Haitian Vetiver, Amber, Musk). It's a sexy, womanly vanilla, with a light incense/leather vibe going on the background. Don't be afraid of the cumin; it doesn't last that long and is part of what makes this scent so different from the rest of the fluffy cupcake pack.

Jonathan Bailey in Loewe

Mmm....Jonathan Bailey. While he's wearing a giant metal peony at his throat, I'm not feeling a peony scent for him. The closest might be one of Jo Malone's creations for Zara, Fleur de Patchouli, but that's too simplistic for a night out on the town. Instead, I'm putting him in the best tuberose scent ever, Frederic Malle's Carnal Flower. It's green, camphoraceous, lightly coconutty, musky, non-sweet, white floral deliciousness and I think he could pull it off. What he can't pull off, sadly, are those horrible trousers bunching at his ankles. Surely Loewe has tailors that could have fixed that? There's zero reason to wear ill-fitting pants.

Erika Badu in Comme des Garcons

I have never been even remotely nearby Erika Badu, but I have always imagined that she'd smell of patchouli. So of course she'd wear a patch scent to the Met Gala. It would be too easy to say she'd wear CdG's Series Luxe Patchouli, but she's not a matchy-matchy kinda gal. Instead, I'm going to put her in Diptyque's glorious Tempo (Patchouli, Mate, Clary Sage, Pink Pepper, Violet Leaf, Bergamot).

As an aside, she apparently put out an incense that smelled of her vagina and contains ashes from her underpants.

There’s an urban legend that my pussy changes men. The men that I fall in love with, and fall in love with me, change jobs and lives....I took lots of pairs of my panties, cut them up into little pieces and burned them. Even the ash is part of it.

Okkkkay.  

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Posted by theminx on Minxstinks Note: this post is my opinion. I am not affiliated with the companies mentioned in this post or any other companies.